The Blog-Files

Return of the King - a movie review

After a year of waiting and about a week of hype, we managed to make it to the theatre for an afternoon showing of the final installment of The Lord of the Rings trilogy, The Return of the King. I had been quite eager to see this film since we had just managed to get through the extended version of The Two Towers, with all the extra footage and behind the scenes stuff. What I didn't know, is that the film was three and a half hours long, not counting the twenty minutes of trailers.

Let me start at the beginning. We planned on seeing the 2:00pm showing of the film so we arrived at around 1:30 to get some tickets. There was already a line outside, but it was for ticket holders only so Rosie went to get the tickets while I went to park the car. Upon my arrival, I learned that the movie actually was scheduled to start at 2:30pm and not 2:00pm, which wasn't really a big deal, it just meant standing outside the theatre, with a bunch of kids that should have been in school and a bunch of adults who should have been at work. After a short while we were allowed to enter and we went to get our seats. I was a little thirsty so I volunteered to get some beverages. I purchased a medium for myself because it looked big enough and I didn't have enough money for anything more. I returned to my seat and slowly sipped my beverage while being advertised to for at least half an hour. By the time the trailers started I had finished my drink and was ready to give the film my full attention.

The first hour was quite excellent, with lots of action and cool effects and stuff. I did, at this point, start to feel a slight amount of pressure in my bladder area but there was too much going on and I'd paid $10.50 for a matinee so I was going to try and wait it out, so as not to miss anything. What followed can only be described as an adventure all it's own, with dizzying highs and sorrowful lows. The movie was now locked in a fierce battle with me, and my will not to pee my pants. It kept throwing out spellbinding scene after scene in an attempt to keep me in my seat and, in all likelihood, rupture my bladder. We had reached the three hour point of the film when, realizing that the film still had thirty minutes to go, my resolve crumbled and my bloated midsection screamed in agony. I had to go, there was no stopping it. Damn you, Peter Jackson!

I was certain that I would have to urinate for the entire twenty five minutes that remained in the film and I would miss the conclusion I had waited so long to see. I was quite surprised to find myself on my way back in to the cinema after only a five minute absence. What did I miss? I guess I won't know until the DVD comes out. I didn't actually return to my seat however, as my abdomen was thoroughly aching, I decided to stand at the side to finish watching the film. As I stood there barely aware of the movie in front of me, I seriously thought that I had done some irreparable internal damage to myself. To this day I can honestly say that I have never held so much liquid within my person for so long.

So what did I think of the movie? It was okay. I think movies have the power to evoke a variety of emotions, to make you happy or sad, angry or hopeful. What I didn't expect was this movies ability to make me feel pain like I've never felt before. The film refused to end. Just when you thought, "Well, that about wraps that up!", it just kept on going. I joked later that if Peter Jackson really wanted to do me in he would have had most of the action at the end of the movie take place in front of a waterfall or a rushing river. Although, I expect that would have emptied the theatre. I don't think I was alone in my misery.

Ferry Strike

Firstly, let me apologize in advance for any left-leaning propaganda that follows. It's late and I'm tired. I just thought I'd take a little while try to sort out my thoughts by writing them down. This probably should be a draft but chances are pretty good I wouldn't finish it if I left it that way so I'm posting it anyway. Secondly, let me apologize for any incoherent rambling, but as I mentioned earlier, it's late and I'm tired.

All right, here's my take on what has already become an unpleasant situation. Being a resident of Vancouver Island, I am somewhat impacted by the goings on with the shutdown of the BC Ferries. I've been reading some of the opinions of "average" people on Canada.com, regarding the dispute, and am most disappointed by the lack of humanity displayed by onlookers. Everyone seems very quick to judge other people and their situation. I know everyone is entitled to an opinion but the amount of hatred that is being displayed disturbs me greatly.

Although I don't agree with the union "shutting down" the ferries, I also don't agree with the government imposing a "cooling off period", before any job action has taken place. Considering that the government went so far as to disassociate itself with the daily operation of the ferries by privatizing the corporation, it seems to me a little premature to be ordering a company's employees, not government employees, who haven't got a contract, back to work before they've even started any work slowdown or stoppage. If the government deemed the ferries an "essential service" it would seem to be a foolish thing to hand over the operation to a private company. Maybe the government should listen to it's own rhetoric and get government out of business. Let the new Ferry Corporation fend for itself, and learn, albeit the hard way, the ins and outs of labour negotiations.

It seems like our political pendulum is swinging to the right a little too fast. I'm all for private enterprise and would even aspire to one day own my own business but I still realize that a government isn't a business. It can't be run like one. Businesses aren't democracies. It is the goal of business to make a profit and grow the business. A government's goal is to provide services for the people who elected them. That's it. Government is there to take care of the things we don't want to take care of ourselves. In my view there are 4 categories of services that our society has come to expect our assorted governments to take care of:

1. Security and Rescue (Armed Forces, Police, Firefighters, Coast Guard, etc.)
2. Health Care (Hospitals, Doctors, Nurses, Ambulance Services, etc.)
3. Education (Schools, Universities)
4. Infrastructure (Roads, Highways, Railways, Waterways, Airports)

In the past little while our society has become so much more Americanized and "me-first" that we seem willing to hand over these services to the private sector with the promise of tax cuts resulting from the lower cost of operations. I don't buy that. Not only do I think that the private sector would choose to pad the profit margin rather than lower costs to the consumer, I don't want to be picked up in "Fred's Discount Ambulance" and carted off to "Jane's Drive-thru Hospital". I can't imagine the job of being a 911 dispatcher. Not only do you need to find out the nature of the incident and the location, but you would have to ask which health care provider you would like, which ambulance service is acceptable, and which brand of medication is covered by your insurance.

Some things need to be all under one roof. In my opinion, the infrastructure is one of them. If so many people depend on the ferries then they are a service, not a business, run them accordingly. What I find quite comical in this whole situation is that everyone seems upset at the amount of money the cashiers, cooks, and cleaners make. Well, I don't see the corporation wanting to stop serving food on the ferries? Why not? Why not clear out the cafeteria, buffet, kitchen and gift shops completely and make room for more passengers? I've talked to many people who would like the ferry to be more like a bus and not have any "frills". They just want to get to Vancouver. This won't happen because, once they've got you and your car on board for a two hour tour, they have a great opportunity to sell you something. They realize that this is the only place they can make any real money. The problem is, the union realizes it too.

Trapped in a Cell....Phone.

I hate cell phones. I own one, but am definitely not happy with it. I think that "cell" is a really descriptive term because once you buy one you are "locked in" to a contract with one provider, which can feel like prison. If you do, however, manage to get out of your contract, you can't take your phone to another provider and have it work. Or alternatively, if you find a phone you really like you can't use it with your provider. This is competition but it is hardly choice.

Here's our situation. We decided last year to get a cell phone, mostly for emergency use, so we were looking for a cheaper plan. All the providers offered basically the same thing, x number of minutes, with evening or weekends or both unlimited, with only slight variations in cost. We heard that Telus had the better coverage so that was the carrier we chose. We, and by "we" I mean "me", decided to buy the most expensive phone, a flip phone with color display and downloadable ringtones and backgrounds. My motivation was that if we were going to have the phone for a while then we might as well get the best one so we wouldn't be wishing we had gotten a better one after a year or so.

Well, now it seems that Rogers/ AT&T now offer a plan that is more to our liking but because we have 2 years left on our contract we are totally unable to switch unless we are willing to pay a $480 fee for canceling our contract. Which, first of all, is not going to happen and secondly, even if we could afford to pay it we would still be stuck with a phone that won't work with any other carrier. We went to Telus to ask if they had any plans like the one Rogers offers and their answer was "No", and "We don't think it's a very good deal, anyway".

So, it seems to me like the cell phone industry isn't really competitive. They don't have to be. Once you buy a phone your theirs. You don't own a phone, they own you. I liken it to buying a car from Chevron and only being able to put Chevron gas in it. Oh, there's lots of gas stations out there but their gas won't work in your car. So your stuck buying Chevron gas until you buy a new car. Could you imagine that situation? People would be outraged. I don't know how the cell phone industry duped people into accepting this arrangement.

I'm Alive, I'm Alive!!

There's nothing that makes you feel so alive like getting a letter. Well, a certain kind of letter. It's a letter they don't send to dead people, so if you receive it you know you must not be deceased. I am, of course, talking about a bill for life insurance. Nothing quite as reassuring as paying your life insurance to let you know that you're still breathing.

I remember that for the longest time I couldn't figure out how life insurance companies made any money. I mean, everyone dies, so you would think that everyone who has life insurance would die too. That means their beneficiaries would get the insurance money, but you never pay the same amount as you are insured for. So how can they make money paying out more than they take in?

The answer is simple, of course. It doesn't work that way. There are a lot of things I don't know about, and insurance is definitely one of them. Calculating how much and what type of insurance you need is more than just difficult, it's spooky. You have to imagine not being around and watching your loved ones trying to do without having your personal or your financial contributions. Then you have to try an valuate yourself. You can't insure yourself for too much more than you're really worth or you'll end up not being able to afford your insurance and have to live a lower standard of living just to make payments that aren't justified so your family can be better off with you dead than living. I personally think it's a good idea to be a little underinsured, just to make sure your family wants to keep you around.